Ode To Protein Wisdom

I have an F-N-F-A-L
It's chambered 3 oh 8
I keep it clean and shiny
and trained upon the gate
With which repellent attributes
to keep my foes at bay
That they may not abuse my dog
or try to turn him gay
Yet you with pen and rapier wit
dissect your manxome foes
or ban their ass and banish them
to Eschatons foul hole
I will not mourn them nor lament
to us they are as dead
But it's OK, they're just away
on Duncan's open thread